When Steve and I bought the house we're currently living in, we bought it for the future. We were two childless people, living in one of the most family-friendly neighborhoods in the area, with four empty bedrooms to our name and a primary school a block away from us. We were set for the long-term.
Then Brigid came along, and we started making friends with other families in the neighborhood. A new couple moved in next door to us, and suddenly, Brigid was referring to their son as her boyfriend, and Steve had a beer drinking buddy, and I had someone to carpool with to neighborhood girls' nights out. They had their second son a few months before Caitlin was born, and now we have a whole group of kids planning to grow up together. When a planned trip to the pool with a bunch of neighbors was rained out last weekend, we invited them over for dinner so the kids could play together a little longer, and the adults could drink wine, and it was just a nice way to end the weekend. A few weeks before that, it was a Sunday night pizza run for all of us together, after the neighbors had taken Brigid to the pool for the afternoon, so Steve and I could finish a home improvement project we'd been working on for weeks.
We've truly found ourselves in a really fantastic situation, and I couldn't be happier about it. But, for some reason, I just can't leave well enough alone. I can't be content with everything we have going for us.
Our house, our neighborhood, our current lifestyle in general, it's a two income party for us, and I honestly don't know how much longer I want to keep us a two income family. I want to stay home with my girls so much, there is an actual aching feeling in my chest when I think about it, and I can feel the panic/anxiety/need/some other emotion that I can't quite define rising in my throat, trying to fight its way out. The deep breathing and distraction techniques I've used to fight the random bouts of anxiety I've dealt with in the past only get me so far these days. I'm on every stress-fighting natural supplement I can find. I try to run the noise out of my head on the treadmill. I keep myself up later and later every night, because I can only fall asleep if I am so exhausted, I can't keep my eyes open for another minute, but even then, if Caitlin gets me up anytime after 4:30am? I'm usually up for the day, because there's no way I'm falling back asleep.
(Well, unless I'm running on 3 or 4 nights of 5 hours of sleep. Then I'm ok with it...)
I spend so much time thinking about how wonderful it would be to stay home with my kids, to work around their schedule alone, not their schedule, my schedule, Steve's schedule, and my mother-in-law's schedule, since she watches them three days a week. I think of how I can be responsible for dinner, so Steve's not rushing around to do it the minute he gets home, because I know how much that stresses him out. I think about how I can do the grocery shopping during the week, so our weekends are reserved for fun activities with the girls, instead of the chores that we haven't had time to do on the weekdays. I think about taking Brigid to a weekday ballet class, so our weekends can be flexible.
And I want it to be that way. Just like that.
But then I think about the money I'd be giving up. Am I actually doing wrong by my daughters, if I can't give them everything I always thought I'd be giving them? Is it wrong to move them away from such a great situation, with friends next door and down the street? We bought this house for the future, and we will lose money on it if we sell it now. Can I live with that? Or will I feel like I'm being selfish to the detriment of my family? Sure, where we'd like to move, we'll be closer to Steve's parents, which he says is where he'd like to be, but he's going to have a longer commute if we move there. Will he resent that, over time? He married someone who was willing to pull her own weight, financially, and if I'm not that person anymore, will that just increase his stress levels, knowing it's just him, now?
I know what I want to do. I just keep thinking it would be so much easier if I could do it in a way that's not an option for us. And I'm worried that what is an option for us isn't actually the right option for us. And around and around and around again, this is the whirlpool of thought I feel caught in, almost daily. I just want someone to tell me what we should do, what will give my family the happiest future. I just want someone to come be the adult for me for awhile, so I don't have to do it anymore.
And barring that? I just want to win the lottery, so I can move us all to our own little island, and this time period just becomes something we laugh about over fruity drinks on the beach, because ha ha! look how stressed we were when life involved something else besides drinking fruity drinks on the beach! isn't it nice that we don't deal with stuff like that anymore?
That's not too much to ask, right?
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Ch-ch-ch-changes...
I don't know if there is anyone out there still listening to me or not, because when you only post once every three months, and you just haven't been able to visit/comment on other blogs recently like you used to do, and Google decides to ditch its feed reader, giving everyone else the perfect opportunity to weed dead blogs out of whatever new feed reader they're moving to, you don't expect many people to stick around, waiting anxiously for your return. But I have things to say, and even if no one is listening, and I have things to figure out for myself that I can only figure out if I put it all down on paper, first.
(My head, it is a noisy place these days. I can't keep track of anything in there, anymore.)
I want to get back to posting outfit pictures, because I've been on a stress-shopping binge, lately, and my newest no-shopping stint will begin on August 1st, which means I need to get back to appreciating what I already have, instead of wanting everything that I don't.
I want to talk about make-up, because, well, see the stress-shopping binge, above. I love make-up, I always have, and ever since Style Lush went quiet, I've lost the outlet where I could talk about all of my favorite products. And favorite products? Hoo, buddy, do I have them.
I want to talk about my feelings as a working mother who no longer wants to be a working mother, the constant beating my emotional well-being has taken as I've struggled to lose the baby weight after Caitlin's arrival in my life, the struggles I've faced in trying to teach Brigid right from wrong. And my fear that I am not doing right by her in this process.
I want to talk about all of the stress and anxiety that has slowly taken over my life this past year, in ways that I've never truly appreciated until I actually sat down and thought about how hard the simple things in life have become.
And I want to talk about how happy I am that my life is where it is, in so many ways, despite all of that other stuff that keeps getting in the way.
I have things to say. It's time I got back to saying them.
(My head, it is a noisy place these days. I can't keep track of anything in there, anymore.)
I want to get back to posting outfit pictures, because I've been on a stress-shopping binge, lately, and my newest no-shopping stint will begin on August 1st, which means I need to get back to appreciating what I already have, instead of wanting everything that I don't.
I want to talk about make-up, because, well, see the stress-shopping binge, above. I love make-up, I always have, and ever since Style Lush went quiet, I've lost the outlet where I could talk about all of my favorite products. And favorite products? Hoo, buddy, do I have them.
I want to talk about my feelings as a working mother who no longer wants to be a working mother, the constant beating my emotional well-being has taken as I've struggled to lose the baby weight after Caitlin's arrival in my life, the struggles I've faced in trying to teach Brigid right from wrong. And my fear that I am not doing right by her in this process.
I want to talk about all of the stress and anxiety that has slowly taken over my life this past year, in ways that I've never truly appreciated until I actually sat down and thought about how hard the simple things in life have become.
And I want to talk about how happy I am that my life is where it is, in so many ways, despite all of that other stuff that keeps getting in the way.
I have things to say. It's time I got back to saying them.
Monday, July 1, 2013
The List - June Update
I feel like I say this every time I manage to make it back to this space after a long break, but I miss writing here on a regular basis. This is my own little corner of the world, and I start to feel bottled up when I can't take some time for myself. Unfortunately, between work and the girls, time for myself seems non-existent these days, and I'm just not sure when it's coming back...
Anyway. The list.
1) Lose the pregnancy weight. - 27lbs lost. I'm three measly pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, and yet, it still just doesn't feel right. With Brigid, when I lost the weight, I went back to being myself. After Caitlin, though, something changed, and my pre-pregnancy weight just doesn't have the same shape it used to. It can be so disheartening to see a familiar number on the scale (FINALLY!), but still not fit into half of the clothes in my closet. However, I am taking comfort in the fact that even though I FELT overly large in the strapless, empire-waisted bridesmaid dress I wore in my brother-in-law's wedding a couple of weeks ago, the pictures don't make me look nearly as bad as I had been preparing myself for, mentally, ever since they were taken. So. Bright side.
2) Give up meat for a month. - Not yet.
3) Complete the Couch to 5K program. - No new injuries to report, but no new progress on this, either. I blame the seventeen home improvement projects we have going on right now, which eat into that tiny little hour of alone time I have between getting the girls to bed and collapsing in bed myself.
4) Run an organized 5K. - See: No Running In Two Months.
5) Clean/reorganize my closet. - No.
6) Take a belated anniversary trip with Steve, a long weekend somewhere without the kids. - Still in the works.
7) Make a meal entirely on my own (I don't cook, so this might be the biggest one of the year!) - Eh, at this point I might call boiling some pasta, heating up some sauce, and opening a bag of prepared salad 'cooking' and mark this one off of the list.
8) Create an art wall in my staircase. - We...might be moving? Maybe? We've discussed it anyway? So, I don't know what to do about this now.
9) Organize a workspace for me. - No.
10) Attend The Blathering in Charleston. - STILL REGISTERED!! STILL SO EXCITED!!!!
11) Read at least one book a month. - Let's see, through May I had: In the Garden of Beasts (Erik Larson), Wild (Cheryl Strayed), and Discovery of Witches/Shadow of Night (Deborah Harkness). Since then, I've added: Wedding Night (Sophie Kinsella), The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald), Rules of Civility (Amor Towles), The Casual Vacancy (JK Rowling), and Summer at Tiffany (Marjorie Hart). I'm at nine through seven months. I used to get through nine in less than two months. Sad.
But, again...seven Harry Potter books, reread. I should probably cut myself some slack...
12) Take Brigid and Caitlin to South Bend for a weekend (preferably a football weekend). - We're currently trying to get up there for Labor Day weekend.
13) Research/practice meditation. - No.
14) Find a yoga studio and start taking classes regularly. - No.
15) Find a 'mommy and me' class of some sort for Brigid and I to attend. - I should try to find a new one for us.
16) Write something, anything, not blog related. - No.
17) Take one lunch break a week, even if it's only 15 minutes, to sit somewhere quiet and recalibrate/reflect/replan the next few days. (when I go back to work...) - HA! HAAAAAAAA! No. (still.)
18) Start taking outfit photos again, in an effort to wear everything already in my closet instead of shopping for new items. - Eh. Maybe.
19) Be more consistent in updating my family blog, because my parents give me a hard time when I let it lag, and my personal blog, because I'm not as happy with myself when I let it lag. - Still no.
20) Start reading my favorite blogs again, since I haven't even LOOKED at my reader feed in months, and I miss keeping up with it. - Sort of. Some of them.
21) Find a general practitioner and get a physical. - Not yet.
22) Throw Brigid a NYE party next year, complete with hats, noisemakers, and fun food, since she was really excited to stay up until midnight this year, but I was so tired from the baby's schedule that we faked midnight for her at 11PM. - I have a few more months on this?
23) Send more mail...thank you notes, birthday cards, and 'just because' messages. - I've been better-ish. But there's still room for improvement.
24) Try a juice fast/cleanse. - I'm doing this dandelion tea thing? Which kind of has made me feel better? But which has also prompted Steve to ask me if I'm preparing for some kind of drug test he didn't know I had?
25) Decide, once and for all, what I want to be when I grow up, and formulate a plan to get myself there. - Blergh.
Anyway. The list.
1) Lose the pregnancy weight. - 27lbs lost. I'm three measly pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, and yet, it still just doesn't feel right. With Brigid, when I lost the weight, I went back to being myself. After Caitlin, though, something changed, and my pre-pregnancy weight just doesn't have the same shape it used to. It can be so disheartening to see a familiar number on the scale (FINALLY!), but still not fit into half of the clothes in my closet. However, I am taking comfort in the fact that even though I FELT overly large in the strapless, empire-waisted bridesmaid dress I wore in my brother-in-law's wedding a couple of weeks ago, the pictures don't make me look nearly as bad as I had been preparing myself for, mentally, ever since they were taken. So. Bright side.
2) Give up meat for a month. - Not yet.
3) Complete the Couch to 5K program. - No new injuries to report, but no new progress on this, either. I blame the seventeen home improvement projects we have going on right now, which eat into that tiny little hour of alone time I have between getting the girls to bed and collapsing in bed myself.
4) Run an organized 5K. - See: No Running In Two Months.
5) Clean/reorganize my closet. - No.
6) Take a belated anniversary trip with Steve, a long weekend somewhere without the kids. - Still in the works.
7) Make a meal entirely on my own (I don't cook, so this might be the biggest one of the year!) - Eh, at this point I might call boiling some pasta, heating up some sauce, and opening a bag of prepared salad 'cooking' and mark this one off of the list.
8) Create an art wall in my staircase. - We...might be moving? Maybe? We've discussed it anyway? So, I don't know what to do about this now.
9) Organize a workspace for me. - No.
10) Attend The Blathering in Charleston. - STILL REGISTERED!! STILL SO EXCITED!!!!
11) Read at least one book a month. - Let's see, through May I had: In the Garden of Beasts (Erik Larson), Wild (Cheryl Strayed), and Discovery of Witches/Shadow of Night (Deborah Harkness). Since then, I've added: Wedding Night (Sophie Kinsella), The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald), Rules of Civility (Amor Towles), The Casual Vacancy (JK Rowling), and Summer at Tiffany (Marjorie Hart). I'm at nine through seven months. I used to get through nine in less than two months. Sad.
But, again...seven Harry Potter books, reread. I should probably cut myself some slack...
12) Take Brigid and Caitlin to South Bend for a weekend (preferably a football weekend). - We're currently trying to get up there for Labor Day weekend.
13) Research/practice meditation. - No.
14) Find a yoga studio and start taking classes regularly. - No.
15) Find a 'mommy and me' class of some sort for Brigid and I to attend. - I should try to find a new one for us.
16) Write something, anything, not blog related. - No.
17) Take one lunch break a week, even if it's only 15 minutes, to sit somewhere quiet and recalibrate/reflect/replan the next few days. (when I go back to work...) - HA! HAAAAAAAA! No. (still.)
18) Start taking outfit photos again, in an effort to wear everything already in my closet instead of shopping for new items. - Eh. Maybe.
19) Be more consistent in updating my family blog, because my parents give me a hard time when I let it lag, and my personal blog, because I'm not as happy with myself when I let it lag. - Still no.
20) Start reading my favorite blogs again, since I haven't even LOOKED at my reader feed in months, and I miss keeping up with it. - Sort of. Some of them.
21) Find a general practitioner and get a physical. - Not yet.
22) Throw Brigid a NYE party next year, complete with hats, noisemakers, and fun food, since she was really excited to stay up until midnight this year, but I was so tired from the baby's schedule that we faked midnight for her at 11PM. - I have a few more months on this?
23) Send more mail...thank you notes, birthday cards, and 'just because' messages. - I've been better-ish. But there's still room for improvement.
24) Try a juice fast/cleanse. - I'm doing this dandelion tea thing? Which kind of has made me feel better? But which has also prompted Steve to ask me if I'm preparing for some kind of drug test he didn't know I had?
25) Decide, once and for all, what I want to be when I grow up, and formulate a plan to get myself there. - Blergh.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
The List - May Update
Last year, I made it a point to revisit my list of goals for the year at least once every three months, so I could see what sort of progress I was making towards them. This year? Things have gotten away from me a bit.
Between the new baby, an overactive toddler, and a job that takes up more of my time (and causes more trouble) than both of my girls combined, it's all of a sudden May, and I have no idea how we got here. So...an update:
1) Lose the pregnancy weight. - I have lost about 20lbs since the start of the year, which is excellent. Less excellent is the fact that I gained more than 20lbs with Caitlin, so I still have some work ahead of me.
2) Give up meat for a month. - Not yet.
3) Complete the Couch to 5K program. - I keep trying. And I keep injuring myself, outside of the whole running thing. First, it was slipping on the stairs at my in-laws' house, and messing up my ankle. Then, it was falling in the parking garage at work, and tweaking my quad muscle. I'm sure, once my leg stops hurting every time I awkwardly squat to pick something up, I'll manage to throw my back out, or something.
4) Run an organized 5K. - Not if I can't quit falling while doing absolutely nothing athletic, I won't.
5) Clean/reorganize my closet. - I bought some skirt hangers that I love. That's about it.
6) Take a belated anniversary trip with Steve, a long weekend somewhere without the kids. - Still in the works.
7) Make a meal entirely on my own (I don't cook, so this might be the biggest one of the year!) - No.
8) Create an art wall in my staircase. - I've bought a bunch of frames. And I have them laid out on the floor of the front room. But that's as far as it goes right now.
9) Organize a workspace for me. - No.
10) Attend The Blathering in Charleston. - I REGISTERED! I'M GOING!! I'M SO EXCITED!!
11) Read at least one book a month. - I guess, since I didn't specify that the book a month didn't have to be a book I'd never read before, I'm actually ahead of the game on this one? Actually, even without that clarification, I'm still kind of on pace, but so far I've read: In the Garden of Beasts (Erik Larson), Wild (Cheryl Strayed), and Discovery of Witches/Shadow of Night (Deborah Harkness), plus I'm currently reading Wedding Night (Sophie Kinsella). So...five, right?
cough*Plus I reread all 7 Harry Potter books, just because I wanted to*cough
12) Take Brigid and Caitlin to South Bend for a weekend (preferably a football weekend). - We're currently trying to get up there for Labor Day weekend.
13) Research/practice meditation. - No.
14) Find a yoga studio and start taking classes regularly. - No.
15) Find a 'mommy and me' class of some sort for Brigid and I to attend. - Brigid is currently enrolled in a ballet class at the Atlanta Ballet Company, where I get to go sit in class with her while she 'dances'. I don't get to dance, though, and I think the ABC is really missing out on something special here by not letting me participate, but whatever. What do I know, right?
16) Write something, anything, not blog related. - No.
17) Take one lunch break a week, even if it's only 15 minutes, to sit somewhere quiet and recalibrate/reflect/replan the next few days. (when I go back to work...) - HA! HAAAAAAAA! No.
18) Start taking outfit photos again, in an effort to wear everything already in my closet instead of shopping for new items. - Once I fit into more than three items in my closet, I will get RIGHT on this.
19) Be more consistent in updating my family blog, because my parents give me a hard time when I let it lag, and my personal blog, because I'm not as happy with myself when I let it lag. - I can usually manage to get something into the family blog about three times a week, even if it's a throwaway picture post (because, let's be honest, that's all my family cares about, anyway), but this blog has been sadly neglected this year. I need to change that.
20) Start reading my favorite blogs again, since I haven't even LOOKED at my reader feed in months, and I miss keeping up with it. - I transferred everything to a new feed reader! And I added a few that looked awesome! But...to read them? I'm still trying to find a better balance for my time.
21) Find a general practitioner and get a physical. - No. Although having one might have come in handy when I thought I had pinkeye, but still...no. Not yet.
22) Throw Brigid a NYE party next year, complete with hats, noisemakers, and fun food, since she was really excited to stay up until midnight this year, but I was so tired from the baby's schedule that we faked midnight for her at 11PM. - I have a few more months on this?
23) Send more mail...thank you notes, birthday cards, and 'just because' messages. - Sort of. It comes in spurts, and I am not consistent at all. But I'm trying to be better about it.
24) Try a juice fast/cleanse. - No.
25) Decide, once and for all, what I want to be when I grow up, and formulate a plan to get myself there. - I know I want to spend more time at home with my girls. I know I don't want every waking moment to be consumed with work, to the point that I am using my personal phone as a wireless hotspot to work from the car as we're driving home from Indiana on what should be a vacation day, because there is some work emergency that needs to be addressed. I DON'T know how to get there, though. So...uh...TBD? I guess?
Between the new baby, an overactive toddler, and a job that takes up more of my time (and causes more trouble) than both of my girls combined, it's all of a sudden May, and I have no idea how we got here. So...an update:
1) Lose the pregnancy weight. - I have lost about 20lbs since the start of the year, which is excellent. Less excellent is the fact that I gained more than 20lbs with Caitlin, so I still have some work ahead of me.
2) Give up meat for a month. - Not yet.
3) Complete the Couch to 5K program. - I keep trying. And I keep injuring myself, outside of the whole running thing. First, it was slipping on the stairs at my in-laws' house, and messing up my ankle. Then, it was falling in the parking garage at work, and tweaking my quad muscle. I'm sure, once my leg stops hurting every time I awkwardly squat to pick something up, I'll manage to throw my back out, or something.
4) Run an organized 5K. - Not if I can't quit falling while doing absolutely nothing athletic, I won't.
5) Clean/reorganize my closet. - I bought some skirt hangers that I love. That's about it.
6) Take a belated anniversary trip with Steve, a long weekend somewhere without the kids. - Still in the works.
7) Make a meal entirely on my own (I don't cook, so this might be the biggest one of the year!) - No.
8) Create an art wall in my staircase. - I've bought a bunch of frames. And I have them laid out on the floor of the front room. But that's as far as it goes right now.
9) Organize a workspace for me. - No.
10) Attend The Blathering in Charleston. - I REGISTERED! I'M GOING!! I'M SO EXCITED!!
11) Read at least one book a month. - I guess, since I didn't specify that the book a month didn't have to be a book I'd never read before, I'm actually ahead of the game on this one? Actually, even without that clarification, I'm still kind of on pace, but so far I've read: In the Garden of Beasts (Erik Larson), Wild (Cheryl Strayed), and Discovery of Witches/Shadow of Night (Deborah Harkness), plus I'm currently reading Wedding Night (Sophie Kinsella). So...five, right?
cough*Plus I reread all 7 Harry Potter books, just because I wanted to*cough
12) Take Brigid and Caitlin to South Bend for a weekend (preferably a football weekend). - We're currently trying to get up there for Labor Day weekend.
13) Research/practice meditation. - No.
14) Find a yoga studio and start taking classes regularly. - No.
15) Find a 'mommy and me' class of some sort for Brigid and I to attend. - Brigid is currently enrolled in a ballet class at the Atlanta Ballet Company, where I get to go sit in class with her while she 'dances'. I don't get to dance, though, and I think the ABC is really missing out on something special here by not letting me participate, but whatever. What do I know, right?
16) Write something, anything, not blog related. - No.
17) Take one lunch break a week, even if it's only 15 minutes, to sit somewhere quiet and recalibrate/reflect/replan the next few days. (when I go back to work...) - HA! HAAAAAAAA! No.
18) Start taking outfit photos again, in an effort to wear everything already in my closet instead of shopping for new items. - Once I fit into more than three items in my closet, I will get RIGHT on this.
19) Be more consistent in updating my family blog, because my parents give me a hard time when I let it lag, and my personal blog, because I'm not as happy with myself when I let it lag. - I can usually manage to get something into the family blog about three times a week, even if it's a throwaway picture post (because, let's be honest, that's all my family cares about, anyway), but this blog has been sadly neglected this year. I need to change that.
20) Start reading my favorite blogs again, since I haven't even LOOKED at my reader feed in months, and I miss keeping up with it. - I transferred everything to a new feed reader! And I added a few that looked awesome! But...to read them? I'm still trying to find a better balance for my time.
21) Find a general practitioner and get a physical. - No. Although having one might have come in handy when I thought I had pinkeye, but still...no. Not yet.
22) Throw Brigid a NYE party next year, complete with hats, noisemakers, and fun food, since she was really excited to stay up until midnight this year, but I was so tired from the baby's schedule that we faked midnight for her at 11PM. - I have a few more months on this?
23) Send more mail...thank you notes, birthday cards, and 'just because' messages. - Sort of. It comes in spurts, and I am not consistent at all. But I'm trying to be better about it.
24) Try a juice fast/cleanse. - No.
25) Decide, once and for all, what I want to be when I grow up, and formulate a plan to get myself there. - I know I want to spend more time at home with my girls. I know I don't want every waking moment to be consumed with work, to the point that I am using my personal phone as a wireless hotspot to work from the car as we're driving home from Indiana on what should be a vacation day, because there is some work emergency that needs to be addressed. I DON'T know how to get there, though. So...uh...TBD? I guess?
Monday, May 13, 2013
Fun With Make-Up
Last weekend, I spent Saturday night out with several ladies much, MUCH younger than myself, in honor of my soon to be SiL's bachelorette party. It was fun, and exhausting, and a little crazier than my 33-year old body can handle these days. And I learned that while I still like to talk to just about anybody who will have a conversation with me while I'm out, I now find myself doing things like discussing career paths with the 29-year old engaged bartender who is studying to be a chiropractor and giving parenting advice to the guy who's wife is pregnant with their first kid (a girl!) at the bachelor party drinking next to us. So, you know. I am a BLAST to have at parties, obviously.
Anyway, as I've gotten older, I've started using a lot more make-up in my everyday routine, to try to mask a few of those telltale 'yes I have a baby at home, and no I haven't had a decent night of sleep in something like 10 months' signs, and let me tell you...the rabbit hole that is internet make-up advice is just as fun/exhausting/crazy as any bachelorette party with a bunch of mid-twenties people in attendance. But! Most of the time I don't wake up with a splitting headache in the morning after looking at you tubed make-up tutorials, so I'll have to give the nod to the internet on this one.
My newest obsession? Tightlining.
It's an eyelining technique that involves lining from underneath your lashes, to accent your eyes without the heavy handed look you (or I, in any case) can get from regular eyeliner. I followed the advice I found here, and for my first attempt, I was pretty happy with the results:
Of course, the look took A LOT of Q-Tip clean-up, because I had eyeliner all over the place, but it's definitely a look I want to keep practicing, because I think I could make this an everyday thing for myself, once I get a better handle on it.
Side note: The other night, I was watching Two Weeks Notice with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant, and all I could focus on was Sandra's eyeliner. Because in almost every movie she is in, I always love the look of her make-up, and now? I AM TOTALLY IN ON HER SECRET! Watch your back, Sandy. I'm coming for you.
(Because, the only thing separating me from Sandra's superstar life is the eye make-up techniques, right?)
Side note, the second: I used this Stila Smudge Pot and a flat eyeliner brush for my first attempt.
Anyway, as I've gotten older, I've started using a lot more make-up in my everyday routine, to try to mask a few of those telltale 'yes I have a baby at home, and no I haven't had a decent night of sleep in something like 10 months' signs, and let me tell you...the rabbit hole that is internet make-up advice is just as fun/exhausting/crazy as any bachelorette party with a bunch of mid-twenties people in attendance. But! Most of the time I don't wake up with a splitting headache in the morning after looking at you tubed make-up tutorials, so I'll have to give the nod to the internet on this one.
My newest obsession? Tightlining.
It's an eyelining technique that involves lining from underneath your lashes, to accent your eyes without the heavy handed look you (or I, in any case) can get from regular eyeliner. I followed the advice I found here, and for my first attempt, I was pretty happy with the results:
Of course, the look took A LOT of Q-Tip clean-up, because I had eyeliner all over the place, but it's definitely a look I want to keep practicing, because I think I could make this an everyday thing for myself, once I get a better handle on it.
Side note: The other night, I was watching Two Weeks Notice with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant, and all I could focus on was Sandra's eyeliner. Because in almost every movie she is in, I always love the look of her make-up, and now? I AM TOTALLY IN ON HER SECRET! Watch your back, Sandy. I'm coming for you.
(Because, the only thing separating me from Sandra's superstar life is the eye make-up techniques, right?)
Side note, the second: I used this Stila Smudge Pot and a flat eyeliner brush for my first attempt.
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