This Life, Redefined...: Unsettled

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Unsettled

I don't know if it's the cool and rainy weather we've had the last few days, or the returning from a great family vacation to the reality that I don't really get to spend as much time with my kid as I want, or the surprise house repairs that currently have us trying to reconfigure our budget, or even other small, but unexpected changes that I don't really want to get into here, but something has just seemed...off, I guess...to me this week. Maybe I'm being too sensitive. Maybe I'm being too hormonal or too whiny or too self-absorbed. I don't know.

But I do know that I don't like feeling this way.

And I also know there has to be something I can do to change this feeling.

I just don't know what that is, yet.

But I'm working on it...

And in the meantime? Look at the pretty picture!

(And I'll try to be back to my normal, cheerful self tomorrow...)

6 comments:

Love at First ShoeSeptember 7, 2011 at 10:52 AM
Ahh beautiful pic. I keep a beach pic on my computer at work just to ease the pain some days. Good luck getting back in the swing of things. Promise it always gets better :)
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Style JourneySeptember 7, 2011 at 10:53 AM
Keep your chin up! I think we all get into funks and things just seem off (at least I do). We as women and mothers are strong, so you will get through it! Take care :)
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MelissaSeptember 7, 2011 at 5:30 PM
Aw honey, I'm sorry. I know how you feel and it's completely normal. You're allowed to feel that way. It's not possible to be happy and cheery all the time.

Things will get better. They always do. And while you're waiting for them to get better, feel free to email and vent any time!!!
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oomph.September 7, 2011 at 5:59 PM
i've had many weeks feeling the same way...you're not alone! i do hope you feel better, tho!

[oomph.]
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TiffanySeptember 8, 2011 at 3:04 PM
Aww, I'm sorry, Tara. I get that way, too. I call it "the funk" or being "melancholy". Maybe you just need the short work week to be over already, so you can relax a bit this weekend and bounce back!
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ClaireSeptember 14, 2011 at 12:30 AM
hope you're feeling better now. i totally feel ya. feelings are so crazy sometimes cuz we can't control them and they just take over. now that i'm preggo i'm like ridiculous. i'll cry at the drop of a dime. and i'm sure you were just feeling this way after returning from such an awesome vacay! i often feel similar after my sister leaves or something changes.

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2014 List

1) Send more mail...thank you notes, birthday cards, and 'just because' messages.

2) Be nicer, in general, to my husband and family. They deserve a much less crabby me than the one they were stuck with for most of 2013.

3) Make more of an effort to communicate with the long-distance people in my life. I got away from facetiming with my sister on a regular basis, and I miss it. Plus, now that she's making me an aunt, I think it's even more important that we get back into the habit of seeing each other every week. I do not need her new baby asking 'are you SURE you have more than one sister?', just because Aunt Mary lives in Indiana and Aunt Tara lives all of the way in Georgia.

4) Call or email or even text my friends from college more than I do now, which is hardly at all. Just because we can pick up after not talking to each other for months like no time has passed at all does not mean I should keep letting all of those months pass without the talking. I'm afraid the picking back up can't keep happening in a friendship like that.

5) Do one fitness/health related challenge each month. - You know all of those '0 to 1,000 sit-ups in just 30 days!!' kind of schedules that pop up on Pinterest all of the time? I'm going to start doing those. One each month. Fifteen minute plank? I'M COMING FOR YOU. I'm also throwing my meat-free/sugar-free/alcohol-free months in this category, as well.

6) Run another organized 5K. - It was so much more fun than I expected. Minus the running up a hill part, anyway.

7) Renew my vows with Steve, in Vegas, by Elvis, for our 10th anniversary in October.

8) Create an art wall somewhere in my house.

9) Organize a workspace for me

10) Attend The Blathering in Seattle. - Charleston was such a great time, I'd love to make it back for the Seattle trip.

11) Read at least two books a month.

12) Take Brigid camping.

13) Find a yoga studio and start taking classes regularly.

14) Write something, anything, not blog related.

15) No spending money on new clothes this year. Using gift cards and rewards points are fine, but I need to get out of the habit of spending money on new stuff, just to make myself feel better. I swear, shopping is my addiction, but the high I get from buying a new sweater probably isn't enough to justify the amount of money I spend on clothes I don't need.

16) No buying anything at all unless I absolutely need it. I have a bad habit of stocking up on things at sales (candles, lotions, make-up, beauty products), even if I have a cabinet full of the same stuff already at home. I will use the cabinet full of crap before I add more crap.

17) Be more consistent in updating my family blog, because my parents give me a hard time when I let it lag, and my personal blog, because I'm not as happy with myself when I let it lag.

18) Find a general practitioner and get a physical.

19) Post at least one picture a day on Instagram, to get myself into the habit of taking more pictures of my sweet girls, since I find entire events have passed where I've forgotten to photograph said events. Like Christmas. Sadly.

20) Get a haircut. - You can laugh at this one, if you must, but I did not get one single haircut in 2013. In fact, I haven't had a haircut since before Caitlin was born in November of 2012. I do not even know how this happens, but I know it must end. Soon. I think a Locks of Love kind of donation might be in order. My hair, it is long.

21) Make an effort to get to know the neighbors. - I tend to not get dressed/leave the house on the weekends, and this extends to not fraternizing with anyone who lives near me, because I'm afraid people will judge me for my make-up free, sweatpants clad weekend laze. I should probably get over that.

22) Write more thank you notes. - I am terrible at writing thank you notes. I should not be so terrible.

23) Buy new rugs for my new house. - The sunroom and foyer, in particular, need something fun.

24) Be more fearless in forming and maintaining relationships. - There are many times where I think of something I want to send to someone, whether it's an email, text, card, or what have you, and I don't, because I'm afraid I've maybe overestimated whether we have the type of friendship where I can do something like that. I don't want to worry about stuff like that anymore.

25) Put together an Advent/Christmas activity calendar for Brigid and Caitlin. - I did that for Brigid when I was home on maternity leave after Caitlin's birth, and it was so much fun. I didn't get the chance to do it this year, and I feel like I missed out on some part of the excitement of the season. I'm bringing it back.

26) Institute a once-a-month date night with Steve. Or date lunch, I guess, if necessary.

27) Institute a once-a-month girls' night, whether it be with my old college roommate, my SiLs, or the neighbors. I should get out of the house at least once a month with people who do not live in my house.